Friday, April 03, 2009

Research confirms Library Garden Reporting: Goofing off at work makes you a better employee

A new study by a bunch of Australians with too much time on their hands confirms what Library Garden has previously reported: Not working makes you a better worker.

That's right folks! Employees who surf the net, check Facebook, send some tweets, or regularly check on the latest Brangelina update (are they pregnant? are they adopting again? does Jennifer Aniston always have to be mentioned in these articles?) are actually MORE PRODUCTIVE. Don't believe me? Here's what Wired reported:
The University of Melbourne study showed that people who use the Internet for personal reasons at work are about 9 percent more productive that those who do not.
Isn't that great? But wait, it gets better. There's even a new pseudoscientfic euphamistic acronym:
Study author Brent Coker, from the department of management and marketing, said "workplace Internet leisure browsing," or WILB, helped to sharpened (sic) workers' concentration.
So the next time you're caught watching the sneezing baby panda video you can confidently look your supervisor in the eye and say, "Goofing off? Why no boss, I was WILBing. Scientific research has proven that a good Wilb makes me 9% more productive."

If your boss still has a problem with your wilbful behavior, you can claim, "I just have a bursty style, not a busy style, which means that although it might appear to the untrained eye that I'm never actually working, you'll notice that all my work actually gets done."

If this line is delivered correctly, it will create a moment of confusion as your boss ponders the busy/bursty conundrum, giving you a small window of opportunity to slip away for a donut break.

Happy WILBing!

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At April 03, 2009 1:27 PM, Blogger Andy W said...

Not working makes you a better worker.

From their lips to God's ears!

At April 03, 2009 7:08 PM, Blogger 000 said...

God bless whoever funded this research!

At April 06, 2009 12:10 PM, Blogger Paul Signorelli said...

Sorry, no time to write a proper response; need to get back to the sneezing panda video to see what it can teach me about efficiency in the workplace.


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